How do you know you have a calling from God? (II) – WRITING

After, supernatural experience in my room, finding a church and very hard way, I accepted to be baptize in the water. After baptism, I had in 2 months more than 4 big testimonies, like visa, my sister was baptise as well and this was a miracle; I finished to pay a loan in the ban; my mother came to visit us in 1st time, in miracle way money came; God convinced me to come back to former husband, reading Jeremiah.

I had one year of suffering and rejection with my former husband. It’s another big testimony until divorced. And if you believe or not, Lord through Romans 7 and 1 Cor 7 confirmed: divorce you were paid a big price to be free. It was so confused, how to divorce? you said to come back to him?

One month before, he asked me divorce, I was crying out in my bed about him, to convert him because it was really light and dark, together, and I open the bible and Lord spoke to me in Izaiah: You will not be called abandoned, despised ( etc.) and spiritually way, he spoke in my heart: in 1 month you will leave this house.

Wow! it was so confused in that moment. And after I understood. He, asked me divorce. i said not 3 times,believing, God will change him. I was praying, fasting etc. Lord was shaping me, to bear future rejection, harder one. I will tell this testimony in other post too.

From here, this moment, july 2014, when I left his house. There is a testimony how I found a place like I prayed: the place I wanted ( zone1), price I said I could pay, no deposit and bus stopped very close to church.

It was new time: I felt like: NOT SLAVE ANYMORE. YOU ARE FREE.

I remembered to speak to my mother on the phone, saying; mami, i feel like, now it is time to go deep with God.

I had 6 months, so free to read my bible, 🙂 not hidden, not fear, nobody to say about me.  I start to fast more, pray more and read bible with more consistency. From that time, church start to read bible with plan. I found a small devotional, someone showed me actually, OUR DAILY BREAD, and i start to read after bible, during the breakfast. And God spoke to me, every day, every day, throught that words and testimonies.

If you in the begging to understand, how is the language of Father and how he speaks, Our daily bread is amazing complement with bible + plan reading bible in your church, like 2 chapters in the new testament and 2 in the old testament. Follow strictly and you will be amazed how Lord start to speak to you. Don’t miss any service, you will see God speaking to you, continually 🙂

It was 6 months, going deeper and deeper, laughing alone, even i had a moment not to pay the light.

I was so happy because every morning and every night, i could hear God speaking to me, teaching me, and my mind starts to change more and more. I had so many testimonies about clothes, fasting, money , confirmation during those 6 months.

Third supernatural experience

Holy Spirit was with me and I realized well this, when was Dec/2014. I was inside church, praising, hands up, eyes closed. I felt something itching my left hand and after right hand. I put hands down,opened my eyes, i looked right and left, nothing. then I carry one worshipping, and sudelly again, the itching in my hand like ‘ventilator’ in the computer.

i start to laughed and I understood was God himself in me, like I read in John 14. Lord Jesus said: do not be afraid. It’s important I go then my Father will send the Holy spirit.

So i shared that experience with my sister, around 20th Dec 2014. And I had others days and days living that and didn’t share with people. I asked pastor, he didn’t say what was. And then, my sister, close to me, said: some people called this as anointing.

i said:really? what is that? I just start to understand this word in this 2017, when i found a book about it. But really i was completely innocent about it. And funny thing, start to happen more and more.

For example, i was talking to someone, suddenly the itching was coming in my hand. And I remembered one day, i desire so much go to church and I couldn’t pay the ticket/oyster. And I said; i can walk. i walked about 1 hour and I  didn’t know, what could happen after, but Lord was preparing me to bear bigger things, in mind and body.

During the walking, it was raining cold and I was wet, and i could feel fire in my feet, not cold. I felt lie: LORD YOU ARE HERE WITH ME. THANK YOU.

After I had other experience, not energy in my room, not light, not electricity per 20 days, and i said one day: as you warm up my hand and feet, you could warm my body? i am so cold and i am passing this bot because I suddenly, i felt burning my legs, not only feet.

2015 – Specific time, people and place.

It was supernatural experience, daily. Those days, was between Dec, 2014 and January 2015. I was fasting again, 21 days with only vegetables like Daniel in the bible. It was my 3rd fasting, oriented by God if you believed or not.

And since then, revelation was coming to me, during my reading, during dreams, after service, and many times, he wake me up 2.30am to 3am, like not desire to sleep. I remember to pray and sing about 30 minutes and then sleep again.  I started to ask: why every night I wake up?

then i discovered many people in the church had this experience, they says: it is when God calls us to pray for something or someone. So I had a confirmation : carry on doing. You did right!

From this moment, I just start to pray and praise more time, like 1 hour. And Lord reveals to me: what to remove  in the room; to write down everything he was saying to me, so I have pages and pages of experience and talking with Him, in a box. So he showed my future in 10 years, in a big vision and that day I laugh a lot. It was the same day he showed me my future husband. And I couldn’t stop to laugh.

One night, in January, he called me: Izac! That day, was wednesday and pastor spoke about Izacc. And i just understood what God was saying to me, only 10 months after, when someone told me the meaning of Izaac, means: riso = smile = laugh.  But it was more deep than that and I understood more only in this January 2017. There is things, Lord says: can u learn be in secret? You are in this because I didnt learn.

I was not convinced about husband; until he gave me a dream where the guy was waiting for me, and when I woke up, I said: what s the meaning? I don’t understand, he passed after me, look to me but was not me? Lord spoke to my heart: it is you but you are not ready. he is waiting!

I was not convinced, it was just crazy, i was divorced. And i thought: after the divorce, I will never marry again… Then I prayed: ok/ if it truth, you will move to be close to him or something. Not me.

And that week, happened, we were obligated to work together, about 3 or 3 hours. During the work, i was like, a statue, thinking: really? my God.

I could feel in my spirit God saying: Be quite. Just watch Moises. ( calling he gave me on 03rd january, fist at room and after, on the service preached Exodus 3).

I was not convinced and I prayed:  In this week he will give a sign and i will do anything, not looking, not speaking, nothing. That week, he, guy send an email and in the end, said: beijos.  It was so strange because the email should be professional or more serious. I start to say: oh my gosh oh my gosh!!!

Again I shared with my sister and we laughed but i was not convinced.  I didnt’ pray about him nothing. February passed and i was fasting again to know more, and God showed during worship a vision about my career in worship, saying to me: learn the songs, use what you learned about breathing, i need to prepare you to be ready.

It was answer about my question: Lord, when we serve you, can we should have career in the world and other in the church, or serve in one career. Confirming with me, about II Chronicles when he spoke to me, once, about serving full time as levites. So it was real! But not physically.

Month by month, God was moving in my favor.

Good to say, in January 2015, he spoke to me so many things, my God, so deep. He answered my question about: why i was born? I was in the kitchen talking alone, this time, not teaching English or Portuguese, or music, i was speaking about Jesus to group of woman, while i was washing dishes.

I start to laughed after, saying: oh my God, so many years I speak a alone,  i am adult already…it’s just crazy. So I love to talk?? I love….

I walk in the room, as i was lecturing to a public, more laughs, the words I was saying was so interesting: i was speaking about marry once not forever? i spoke about the Rose, how is the rose and make comp-arising. Just really from heaven words.

And then i said again: why Lord I love to do this since child…?

I felt Lord moving me: open the bible!!!

And I opened: it was written 1 Tim 1:9 It s a holy vacation not according to your deeds but according to his will and his purpose. ‘I said: I don’t understand!!

I read again and then I understood! I laugh and after I cried saying: not me! not way! I am so afraid to speak in public…no way. But I didn’t know, it was not my choice, it was his choice.

Since then, God put in my mind, and I became aware more and more about who I am for him listening to services, and reading the word. God was confirming.

For me, it was so illogical but little by little he convinced me, and i understood why enemy was using my father since i was child to make me shut up. His spirit, Spirit of Truth, Holy Spirit, was teaching me how to pray, how to praise , to learn how to serve in quietness….and long process. And month by month, more fasting 21, and after 7 days, and prayers.

I was devoted and I didn’t realized. Those practices became so natural for me, to wake up praising, reading word first of everything, and after service, come home, read the word before sometimes, shower or dinner. I was involved and falling in love to God. I made schedule time for everything, to guarantee i have 2 3 hours in the morning with Lord and 2 in the evening, so 10pm I was in bed, reading word and after praising him. I became addicted in his presence, 🙂 i stay many nights, seeking his face and When I found, I was crying crying of redemption because he is so beautiful in your holiness. I could see him, spiritually, not physically, not touchable, it’s like the psalm 100 says: enter in his courts. I think I was there….

And to praise him in the church, i felt the same, i had so many services, crying crying…He is wonderful love and speak to me through worship. it s hard to explain. It’s very personal.

And I saw God using my pastor to put in different depts, and funny thing is, the unique one I offered myself to do and it was the first, was : can I clean the toilets? God was doing what he said me before: you will serve in my house full time.

Even my university that  I started in that year, Lord showed me before, it is for you to produce money to my house – and he proved me your business is my business; your dreams are my dreams.

Each month, I have many facts to tell you how God reveals himself, his plans to us but basically is: SEEk. Daily. He reveals. More you give to him, more he will give to you.

When it was July,  Lord asked to praise him during nights, 7 nights, and fasting. And I did and I had a time, Lord in spirit, asked to proclaim in Euston station, a word with bible open in JOSHUA 6 or 7, speak about Prostitute Raabe. So I did after 7 days and i didn’t understood.

Today, i understand so well and i will explain in another time. But important thing is Lord Jesus loves London and this city belong to him! We christians, need to conquer the land. But materials, space physically conquer first spiritually, after, physically can not resist. it just happen!

So we need to sow, plant in money, in tears, in prayers, in adoration and enemies of our soul, will not have permission against. Open doors will happen in your life, when you give 100% of your heart. Not only, your clothes, business, money , your heart is the point.

The trauma and process of healing

So, I could see and hear well Lord, so close, so close. I was broken heart every morning and nights; and i was living not with my friend anymore, I was living like a favor house, paying only £50 a week, like before but with someone not close. So I had more difficult to praise loud like I was doing. So I was praising Lord, reading in the small room, no bed, no wardrop. Today i see what God was doing with me: removing material importance things to give me, spiritual things. Less of material, less of me, more from heaven and more from his attributes in me.

He said: i came to you have a life and abundantly, but it was and it is a big test, to see what is my heart. He was teaching during the whole: i will give what you need and more but I need to show you first, what is important in life, it is me: not people, not material things.

i am the light! And during all your life, you need one thing only: my presence, my yes, my answer, my opinion not what you think is, or what you want.

So, in November 2015, I had a bad news about that guy, and i was like: well, it is not what God said to me. I kept all night praising Lord. And Lord said to me: keep praising me! And be quite, in silence!

Well, in resume, I was in break in the university, I had some 2 or 3 days , so i could work but lord was saying:patience, wait! praise me! and I could pay where I was with money working in the church only 1 day, others days as voluntary, teaching child, evangelizing, dancing, planning schedule for teaching,

2016 Big pain, Big trauma, big rejection but his love is bigger!

You are my rose, I am not loose you! Spread your fragance whatever go.


2017 – During the obedience, there is a healing.





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